german science!

with their spotless history, what could go wrong?



Scientists Attempt to Crack Secret Code of the Axolotl. The axolotl is one of a kind in nature: It can regenerate severed limbs, organs and even grow back its spinal column after injuries. At a new research center in Hanover, Germany, researchers are trying to unlock the Mexican salamander's secrets -- and whether they can be applied to humans.

These are no ordinary amphibians. Many have had flaps of skin removed or parts of their limbs cut off -- under sedation of course -- by scientists investigating their regenerative capabilities. "Coagulation sets in instantly", says scientist Björn Menger. "You can almost watch the healing process happening." It only takes a few months until the body part has regenerated completely -- "the younger ones are even faster," says molecular biologist Kerstin Reimers-Fadhlaoui.



In September 2010, molecular biologists, surgeons and amphibian experts set up a center for axolotl research in Hanover. Their hope is that they can unlock the healing secrets of the axolotl. They also believe the animal may hold the key to longer life and prolonged youth and health.

"We share a common evolutionary history with amphibians," explains Kerstin Reimers-Fadhlaoui. "Regeneration is in our own fundamental genetic makeup." Perhaps the axolotl will help us to discover how to switch the process on once again.

Reimers-Fadhlaoui and her colleagues have analyzed the transcriptome of the wound-healing cells, focusing on the active genes in the regeneration process. Some of this genetic information contains the building blocks of an enzyme that could be the trigger of cell renewal: amblox. Amblox is thought to support the formation of a transmitter, which causes the cells to change into progenitor cells.

The researcher explains that initial experiments have shown that human cells also respond to these transmitters. A layer of human skin cells programmed with the genetic sequence healed significantly faster after injury that the untreated control cells.

source: http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,732283,00.html

flying fucking snakes!

DDT motherfucker!



The image of airborne snakes may seem like the stuff of nightmares, but in the jungles of South and Southeast Asia it is reality.

Once thought to be more parachuters than gliders, recent scientific studies have revealed intricate details about how these limbless, tube-shaped creatures turn plummeting into piloting. To prepare for take-off, a flying snake will slither to the end of a branch, and dangle in a J shape. It propels itself from the branch with the lower half of its body, forms quickly into an S, and flattens to about twice its normal width, giving its normally round body a concave C shape, which can trap air. By undulating back and forth, the snake can actually make turns.



There are five recognized species of flying snake, found from western India to the Indonesian archipelago. Knowledge of their behavior in the wild is limited, but they are thought to be highly arboreal, rarely descending from the canopy. The smallest species reach about 2 feet (61 centimeters) in length and the largest grow to 4 feet (1.2 meters).

source: http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/reptiles/flying-snake/

get off my lawn!

the original polish party animal!

spuds mackenzie: bred to fight, born to party!



A Polish man living in Germany was unaware he had been shot in the head for five years, because he was drunk when it happened.

Police in the western city of Bochum said doctors found a .22 calibre bullet in the back of his head after the 35-year-old went to have what he thought was a cyst removed.



Presented with the 5.6mm projectile, the man recalled he had received a blow to the head around midnight at a New Year’s party “in 2004 or 2005”, but had forgotten about it because he had been “very drunk”, a police spokesman said.

“He told us he remembered having a sore head, but that he wasn’t really one for going to the doctor,” the spokesman said.

The wound later healed around the bullet and it was not until the man decided to have the lump examined due to recurring pains that the discovery was made.

source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7962960/Man-unaware-he-had-been-shot-in-head-five-years-ago.html

monkey terror!

Taliban Training Monkey Terrorists!


(note: pictured above is an ape not a monkey, but it's holding a fucking gun and is righteous so fuck it.)

Monkeys have been trained by the Taliban in Afghanistan to use machine guns and trench mortars against U.S. military forces, reports People's Daily Online.

According to this Chinese media story, monkeys can now operate the Kalashnikov, Bren light machine gun, and have the ability to identify and attack U.S. soldiers based on the appearance of their uniforms.



The report indicates the Taliban was inspired by none other than the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, which it claims used peanuts and bananas to train "monkey soldiers" in Vietnam. This information was, in turn, attributed to a "British media" report from last month.

The story ends by saying, "A senior U.S. military source confirmed the existence of the Taliban monkey soldiers, military experts call armed monkeys 'monkey terrorists.'"

source: http://news.discovery.com/animals/taliban-training-monkey-terrorists.html

old dildo!

william shatner is a fucking baby faced fist magnet.



Sex toys have come a long way since the Stone Age. Last week, an excavation in Sweden turned up an object that bears the unmistakable look of a penis carved out of antler bone.

"Your mind and my mind wanders away to make this interpretation about what it looks like — for you and me, it signals this erected-penis-like shape," said archaeologist Gšran Gruber of the National Heritage Board in Sweden, who worked on the excavation.



"Without doubt anyone alive at the time of its making would have seen the penile similarities just as easily as we do today," wrote Swedish archaeologist Martin Rundkvist on his blog, Aardvarchaeology.

Ancient phallic objects:
The carved bone was unearthed at a Mesolithic site in Motala, Sweden, that is rich with ancient artifacts from between 4,000 to 6,000 B.C. The area's unique features may have allowed bone artifacts, which usually get destroyed over the millennia, to survive.

source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38343340/ns/technology_and_science-science/

worst. poem. ever!

while i was trying to find out what kind of scooter Froggy from the Little Rascals was riding when he was killed, i came across the worst poem ever. wtf? im sure this dude is a blast at parties.



Pornography

I like pornography - if it's legal
especially when I can't be with someone
to get me excited sexually.

My wife and I enjoyed the movie
I am Curious Yellow.
We didn't care for Deap Throat.

I don't rent X-rated movies
cause I don't want my name recorded.

A cable channel advertised "Mr. Skin"
It claimed to have nude images
taken from released movies.
I became a member at $4.95 a month.

The next day and thereafter I was bombarded
with dozens of lewd E-mails every day!
The images on Mr Skin were all so dark
I called up and terminated my membership immediately.

For six months I had a daily chore of deleting lewd E-mails.
Then one day I took a peak
and decided to collect some pornographic images.

After a couple hundred I got tired of it
and only went after pictures of pretty faces.

I thought I might use them as models
to make some stylized paintings
but I'm no better at that art than ever.
These still pictures don't interest me any more.
I just want the real thing!
should get rid of them to reclaim the space.

One day someone sent me an E-mail
with family photos in an application
called Picaso

I installed it and it went searching my computer
and came up with an organization of all my images
including those I considered private!

I quickly deleted the shortcut to Picaso
so no one else would see them accidentally!
Some application developers got a lot of nerve.

And Microsoft as well.
Every time I accidentally touch another key
up pops a menu which has nothing to do
with what I'm trying to do!

Or the narrator comes on in that dead voice
reading all the garbage that's on the screen!

When your doing touch typing
all the other functions should be turned off
till you specifically hit a key high up on the keyboard
which turns on these other features!

And the Gateway and HP notebooks
with that pad for moving the cursor
is the worst thing for touch typing.
You are always touching it and
sending the cursor way away from
where you are trying to do your work.

HP will never get my business again.
I bought an Ink Jet 1220 C printer.
They included drivers and a tool kit.
It supported two way commuication with the printer.
Let you see how much ink was left.
When Microsoft Windows XP came out
HP did not updata the drivers
Two way communication no longer works
so you can not see how much ink is left.

The IBM solution for moving the cursor is better but still needs
other keys blocked when your in a typing application!

And when your moving the cursor over text
in a text editor it becomes a very thin vertical line,
almost invisible to see--
Why don't they make it bright red
or an option to make it thicker?

Microsoft is a lousy company!
Too bad the Justice Department didn't split it up
and make the business more competitive!

By Donald Warren, © 2008

handfish!

Handfishes are anglerfishes in the family Brachionichthyidae, a group comprised of 5 genera and 14 extant species.

They are small (up to 15 cm) bottom-dwelling marine fishes found in coastal waters of southern Australia and Tasmania. Their skin is covered with denticles (tooth-like scales), giving them the name warty anglers. This is the most species-rich of the few marine fish families that are endemic to Australia. Handfish are unusual, slow moving fishes that prefer to 'walk' rather than swim, using their modified pectoral fins to move about on the sea floor. These highly modified fins have the appearance of hands, hence their scientific name, from Latin bracchium meaning "arm" and Greek ichthys meaning "fish".

Only four specimens of the elusive four-inch (ten-centimeter) pink handfish have ever been found, and all of those were collected from areas around the city of Hobart (map), on the Australian island of Tasmania.

Though no one has spotted a living pink handfish since 1999, it's taken till now for scientists to formally identify it as a unique species.

source: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/05/photogalleries/100524-new-species-handfish-walk-science-pictures/#new-handfish-species-pink_20881_600x450.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handfish

periodic table of the empire strikes back!

not featured: george lucas' frog neck.



the pt of esb:


ps: fuck you george lucas!

source: http://io9.com/5546123/the-periodic-table-of-the-empire-strikes-back

the cylons were created by man...

they rebelled. they evolved. and they have a plan.

Scientists announced a bold step Thursday in the enduring quest to create artificial life. They've produced a living cell powered by manmade DNA.



Maryland genome-mapping pioneer J. Craig Venter said his team's project paves the way for the ultimate, much harder goal: designing organisms that work differently from the way nature intended for a wide range of uses.

"This is the first self-replicating species we've had on the planet whose parent is a computer," Venter told reporters.

And the report, being published Friday in the journal Science, is triggering excitement in this growing field of synthetic biology.

"It's been a long time coming, and it was worth the wait," said Dr. George Church, a Harvard Medical School genetics professor. "It's a milestone that has potential practical applications."

Scientists for years have moved single genes and even large chunks of DNA from one species to another. At his J. Craig Venter Institute in Rockville, Md., and San Diego, Venter's team aimed to go further. A few years ago, the researchers transplanted an entire natural genome — the genetic code — of one bacterium into another and watched it take over, turning a goat germ into a cattle germ.

Next, the researchers built from scratch another, smaller bacterium's genome, using off-the-shelf laboratory-made DNA fragments.

Friday's report combines those two achievements to test a big question: Could synthetic DNA really take over and drive a living cell? Somehow, it did.

"This is transforming life totally from one species into another by changing the software," said Venter, using a computer analogy to explain the DNA's role.

source: http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jUy0CkhjIEOS2ZY_SP3gWg8ELgewD9FQPB980

cop and a half!

A Thai police force has begun taking a monkey dressed in officer's uniform on patrol each day to help improve relations with Muslim separatists.


(above: i know it's a fucking ape and not a monkey)

The five-year-old pig-tailed macaque was adopted after policemen in Yaha province in southern Thailand found him injured with a broken arm.

The monkey also helps supervise a police checkpoint and his boss says he has made it a much happier place.

Motorists now stop to play with Santisuk, rather than getting angry at the hold-up.





Other forces are now considering introducing monkeys to better their image in the troubled province.

Separatists are blamed for most of the attacks in Thailand's predominantly Muslim deep south.

Buddhists and Muslims associated with the Thai state - such as police, soldiers, government officials and teachers - are often targeted.

source: http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Strange-News/Monkey-Police-Macaque-On-Patrol-With-Thai-Force-To-Help-Improve-Relations-With-Muslim-Separatists/Article/201004115591175?lpos=Strange_News_First_Strange_News__Article_Teaser_Region__0&lid=ARTICLE_15591175_Monkey_Police%3A_Macaque_On_Patrol_With_Thai_Force_To_Help_Improve_Relations_With_Muslim_Separatists

blood diner!

looks like the work of pathalogical wierdos!

Moscow: Police say body parts sold to kebab stand. Three Russians also suspected of killing man, eating parts themselves.



Russian police have arrested three homeless people suspected of eating a 25-year-old man they had butchered and selling other bits of the corpse to a local kebab house.

Suspicions were raised when dismembered parts of a human body were found near a bus stop in the outskirts of the Russian city of Perm, 720 miles east of Moscow.

Three homeless men with previous criminal records have been arrested on suspicion of setting upon a foe with knives and a hammer before chopping up his corpse to eat, local investigators said in a statement.

"After carrying out the crime, the corpse was divided up: part was eaten and part was also sold to a kiosk selling kebabs and pies," the prosecutor's main investigative unit for the Perm region said.

source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33932286/ns/world_news-europe

venn diagram of the damned!

veganism of the day!

'Veggie' spider shuns meat diet. also rides a fixed gear.



It is the first-known predominantly vegetarian spider; all of the other known 40,000 spider species are thought to be mainly carnivorous.

Bagheera kiplingi, which is found in Central America and Mexico, bucks the meat-eating trend by feasting on acacia plants.

Professor Curry said he was extremely surprised when he found out about its unusual behaviour.

He said: "This is the only spider we know that deliberately only goes after plants."

source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8302535.stm

blob!

Your meteor brought something all right but if it's a germ, it's the biggest son of a bitch you've ever seen!

Giant, Mucus-Like Sea Blobs on the Rise, Pose Danger.



As sea temperatures have risen in recent decades, enormous sheets of a mucus-like material have begun forming more often, oozing into new regions, and lasting longer, a new Mediterranean Sea study says. And the blobs may be more than just unpleasant.



Up to 124 miles (200 kilometers) long, the mucilages appear naturally, usually near Mediterranean coasts in summer. The season's warm weather makes seawater more stable, which facilitates the bonding of the organic matter that makes up the blobs.

Until now, the light-brown "mucus" was seen as mostly a nuisance, clogging fishing nets and covering swimmers with a sticky gel. But the new study found that Mediterranean mucilages harbor bacteria and viruses, including potentially deadly E. coli, Danovaro said.

source: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/10/091008-giant-sea-mucus-blobs.html

snakes!

A snake with a single clawed foot has been discovered in China.



Dean Qiongxiu, 66, said she discovered the reptile clinging to the wall of her bedroom with its talons in the middle of the night.

"I woke up and heard a strange scratching sound. I turned on the light and saw this monster working its way along the wall using his claw," said Mrs Duan of Suining, southwest China.

Mrs Duan said she was so scared she grabbed a shoe and beat the snake to death before preserving its body in a bottle of alcohol.



The snake – 16 inches long and the thickness of a little finger – is now being studied at the Life Sciences Department at China's West Normal University in Nanchang.

Snake expert Long Shuai said: "It is truly shocking but we won't know the cause until we've conducted an autopsy."

A more common mutation among snakes is the growth of a second head, which occurs in a similar way to the formation of Siamese twins in humans.

Such animals are often caught and preserved as lucky tokens but have very little chance of surviving in the wild anyway, especially as the heads have a tendency to attack each other.

source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/6187320/Snake-with-foot-found-in-China.html

what is best in life?

to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!



here are some people who would not take it anymore, who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. you fuckers, you screwheads!

Brick Wielding Grandpa Attacks Red-light Runners



The daring vigilante act of a retired teacher captured the world’s imagination last month when he smashed the cars of traffic violators with a brick. The three hour spectacle took place in the city of Lanzhou and a total of fourteen cars suffered under the wrath of Yan Zhenping.

Reports claim that the seventy-four year old man armed himself with a brick one night and waited patiently by the pedestrian crossing.

Subsequently, he attacked every car that went through the red lights at that crossing point.

source: http://www.weirdasianews.com/2009/08/21/brick-wielding-grandpa-attacks-redlight-runners/

rolling back violence!

Wal-Mart worker accused of beating boss with bat.



Police in New Haven accused a Wal-Mart worker of beating an assistant manager in a store aisle with an aluminum baseball bat after getting reprimanded for the second time in a few days.

Avery said the worker grabbed the bat off a shelf and hit 29-year-old assistant manager George Freibott nearly a dozen times at about midnight Monday, after Freibott wrote the worker up for poor job performance.

Avery said Freibott suffered a possible broken arm and many bruises.

source: http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2009/08/23/wal_mart_worker_accused_of_beating_boss_with_bat/

Hungry hippopotamus chases man!
This gamekeeper sprints for his life after disturbing a hungry hippo while it was stuffing its face.



He fled as the angry three-ton beast – which can hit speeds of up to 30mph – charged at him, still with a mouthful of grass.

The keeper only managed to escape a nasty end with an impressive 100m dash – in flat work shoes.

The keeper was lucky – hippos have huge teeth and kill more people than any other African animal.

source: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/08/23/curb-your-hippo-hungry-hippopotamus-chases-man-115875-21616723/

wolverines!

students would rather be dead than red!



A normal September morning in the small Colorado town of Calumet is unexpectedly interrupted by the surprise appearance of Cuban and Soviet paratroopers in the empty fields behind the local high school. As the paratroopers begin their attack and rounding up the townspeople, a small group of teenagers escapes in a truck, obtains weapons and supplies from a store, and flees to the nearby mountains where they had previously hunted with their fathers. The Arapaho National Forest becomes their base.

Jed and Matt learn that their father, a former military colonel who has given the two boys a lifetime of rigorous military and survival training, has now been captured and is being held in a Soviet concentration camp. Col. Eckart tells the two boys to forget about him, and to "avenge" him. In response, the "Wolverines" mount strikes on invading forces, and persuade others to do the same.

As the result of escalating guerrilla attacks, the Soviet field commanders now view the Wolverines as a serious threat. Initially, the occupiers had tried terror tactics, executing groups of civilians following every Wolverine attack, to intimidate the local population and the Wolverines into halting their attacks. However, this tactic backfires, and civilians lend increasing support to the resistance movement. Following a rise in popular support for the Wolverines, the Soviets decide to stop reprisals against civilians and begin hunting the Wolverines themselves. Spetsnaz commandos are sent into the mountains to eliminate the resistance, but the commandos are ambushed and killed by the Wolverines.

The Wolverines are weakened, however, by the attacks and other events, and their morale erodes as the war of attrition takes its toll on their numbers. Even though the civilians are increasingly resistant to Soviet rule, the occupation forces are pushing the resistance to the breaking point. The remaining Wolverines are ambushed by three Mil Mi-24 helicopter gunships, and Robert and Toni are killed, leaving the group reduced to four: Jed, Matt, Danny, and Erica. The survivors realize that they cannot outlast the Soviets, and if they keep fighting, they will all die. Determined to save at least some of their number, Jed and Matt stage a suicide attack on the Soviet regional headquarters in order to distract the troops while Danny and Erica escape to "Free American" territory. The ploy works: Jed and Matt are killed, but Danny and Erica are free.

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_dawn

mongo strikes back!

fuck you perry farrell.

Man accused of slugging police horse.



A 21-year-old man spent the night in jail after he allegedly punched a Chicago police horse near the Lollapalooza music festival.

The alleged offender, Pablo Fernandez, approached the officer on horseback at about 9 p.m. Sunday, intent on petting the horse, police said.

When the officer ordered Fernandez to move aside, Fernandez reportedly refused and punched the horse, causing the animal to panic and rear back on its back legs in the middle of the crowd present for the three-day music festival, police spokeswoman Gabrielle Lesniak said.

viva pablo!

source: http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2009/08/man-accused-of-slugging-police-horse.html

total disregard for respect!

Sunseekers run for cover as millions of ladybugs invade seaside resorts.



Ladybirds have mounted their biggest invasion of the British Isles since the long, hot summer of 1976.

Tens of millions of the insects have thrived here on a bumper crop of their favourite food, aphids.

Others flew over from the Continent as supplies there ran out. The red and black swarms are sending families running for cover.

One of the worst affected areas is Norfolk, where one woman in the seaside resort of Cromer found her canary yellow VW Beetle had attracted the bugs - which probably mistook it for a giant flower.

Some holidaymakers fled the area after finding their bright clothing proved irresistible.



Nearby in Bacton-on-Sea, people staying at a caravan park were shutting themselves inside to avoid the ladybirds - though often without success.

'They keep coming in through vents or windows or through doors and people get an influx inside their accommodation,' said Anna Hollis, of Castaways Holiday Park.

An estimated ten million ladybirds also descended on Chard, Somerset, covering every inch of a 20-acre farm

source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1204864/Plague-ladybirds-puts-families-flight-Holidaymakers-overrun-tens-millions-bugs.html

shit that pisses me off when im drunk

i drank an unholy combination of wine, absinthe, and beer with my buddy sammy. nobody has been attacked by an ape or stabbed in the face lately so im posting the top three things that piss me off when im drunk. dig it!

puff daddy:


horses:


midgets: