Thursday, December 25, 2008

one in a million shot!

A vicar attended hospital with a potato stuck up his bottom - and claimed it got there after he fell on to the vegetable while naked.

The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table.

He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had not been playing a sex game.

The vicar had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the vegetable, one of a range of odd items medics in

Sheffield have had to remove from people's backsides or genitals.

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll – and a carnation.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

monkey attack!

Three performing monkeys turned on their trainer in China after he beat one of them with a stick.

When one of the monkeys refused to ride on a child's bicycle in a street performance in Sizhou, in eastern China, their owner beat it with a stick.

Although they were tied to the man with ropes attached to their collars, the monkeys appear to have decided to fight back.

The two animals came to the defence of the third monkey, grabbing the stick from the man, pulling on his ear and biting his head.

When he dropped his cane, on monkey snatched it up and began beating the trainer on the head until he broke the stick, witnesses said.

The dazed trainer told his audience: "They were once wild and these performances don't always come naturally to them. They may have built up some feelings of hatred towards me."


someone's gonna get their head kicked in

Colorado Doctor Finds Foot In Newborn's Brain

Dr. Paul Grabb, a pediatric brain surgeon, said he was surprised when he discovered a small foot growing inside the brain of 3-day-old Sam Esquibel.

"The foot literally popped out of the brain," Grabb told TheDenverChannel Wednesday.

When Grabb performed the life-saving surgery at Memorial Hospital for Children in Colorado Springs, he was in for another surprise: he also found what appeared to be parts of an intestine in the folds of the infant's tiny brain, in addition to another developing foot, hand and thigh.

I've never seen anything like it before," Grabb told the Colorado Springs Gazette. "It looked like the breach delivery of a baby coming out of the brain."


Friday, July 25, 2008

monkey pig!

Villagers were shocked after a monkey-like piglet was born in China.

Curious locals flocked to the home of owner Feng Changlin after news of the piglet spread in Fengzhang village, Xiping township.

"It's hideous. No one will be willing to buy it, and it scares the family to even look at it!" Feng told Oriental Today.

He says the piglet looks just like a monkey, with two thin lips, a small nose and two big eyes. Its rear legs are also much longer than its forelegs, causing it to jump instead of walk.

"But our son likes to play with it, and he stopped us from getting rid of it. He even feeds it milk."


Thursday, July 24, 2008

dragon slayer!

In a small, shingled 100-year-old farmhouse near Fowler, Calif., there lives a two-headed bearded dragon lizard.

Zak-n-Wheezie celebrated their first birthday this month, making them possibly the longest-living two-headed bearded dragon lizard on record, and landing owners Barbara and Frank Witte in a "Ripley's Believe it or Not!" cartoon.

When Zak-n-Wheezie were younger, the Wittes laid low to make sure no one searching for an oddity would find their one-in-a-million (actually, statistically speaking, two-in-a-million) pet.

"There were numerous circus-sideshow people looking for me," Barbara Witte says. "But I'm not looking to get them in the sideshow world."

Frank's brother did some research and told the Wittes not to sell Zak-n-Wheezie for anything less than a million dollars — that there were people out there who would pay that much to eat the Wittes' pet.

"There are people who will pay large amounts to eat a two-headed critter. They think it will give them eternal life," says Frank Witte, shaking his head.

The couple say that dragon lizards are cuddly and affectionate and that each has a distinct personality — including the separate heads of Zak-n-Wheezie.

"They are two lizards with one body, not one lizard with two heads," says Frank.


Wednesday, July 16, 2008

deep discountage!

Ceri and Rose Williams suffered numbness, head aches and high blood pressure after eating the fruit they purchased in Tesco.

Mr Williams, 52, and his 45-year-old wife had already started munching on the two £1 bags of fruit when they noticed that something was moving inside.

A quick rummage revealed that two spiders, one alive and one dead, had already made a meal out of the Moroccan-grown grapes.

Mr Williams also spotted a cotton wool-like substance - which turned out to be the poisonous arachnid's nest.

Minutes later, Mr and Mrs Williams, who were on holiday in Newquay, Cornwall, fell ill and drove to hospital where doctors told them the fruit they had eaten had been covered in the spider's toxins.

They were monitored closely for several hours and have now made an official complaint to the supermarket in Wadebridge, Cornwall - which has offered to pay them back the £2 cost of the grapes.

Environmental health officers identified the beasts as false widow spiders - Latin name Steatoda nobilis - cousin of the famous Black Widow.

A spokesman for Tesco, said: 'With all the expertise, checks and will in the world it is not always possible to completely legislate for the natural world. It must have been a real scare.'

But Rose added: ''They've offered a £2 refund, which is a bit cheeky considering we were half scared to death.'


Tuesday, July 15, 2008


A "ghost" slug found in a garden in Cardiff has been declared a new species by specialists at the National Museum of Wales and Cardiff University.

They have given the creature a partially Welsh name, Selenochlamys ysbryda, or ghost (ysbryd) slug.

Unlike most slugs, the ghost slug is carnivorous and kills earthworms at night with powerful, blade-like teeth, sucking them in like spaghetti.

It has no eyes or bodily colouring and lives underground.


Friday, July 11, 2008

family circus


Hey Whitey, where's your hat?

A golf club's fairways were turned brown after the groundsman accidentally watered the course with industrial strength weedkiller.

The normally lush fairways have been scorched away after the groundsman sprayed them with a chemical usually used to destroy grass growing through pavements and roads.

A total of 11 holes have been ruined at Haywards Heath Golf Club in West Sussex, and will remain rusty brown for months to come.

Many members, who pay £1,100 a year, fear that prolonged rain could turn them to mud.


Monday, June 23, 2008

greatest sport ever!

Appliance Golf. You know, it’s a lot like regular golf, but players use sledgehammers instead of golf clubs, and they use washers, refrigerators and televisions instead of balls.

The game takes up much less space than normal golf, because of course you’re not going to move an 800-pound refrigerator very far, even with the biggest sledgehammer you can lift.


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

science with electrolytes!

making difficult concepts easier to comprehend by making stuff up.

Evolutionists hold that man arose by the same gradual process as other creatures. This belief follows from the principle that the same laws of nature apply to man as to the rest of the physical world.
The Evolutionist Model demonstrates how an ancestral "ape-man" could have evolved an upright stance and humanlike physiology

Creationists, on the other hand, believe that man was created instantaneously by a cosmic powered super-being from another dimension. This belief is based on ancient, heavily retranslated writings taken from badly decomposed fragments of scroll found in a series of caves in the middle-east. The Creationist Model explains the advent of human intelligence by ascribing it to divine fiat in the creation of the first humans, Adam and Eve. A major weakness is that it fails to account for the origin of Adam and Eve's daughters-in-law.

Pictured, we see how an open-minded approach to these conflicting theories can lead to the resolution of a major problem in each.

find more examples of science made easy here:

Thursday, June 5, 2008

big ass beetle wants to get it on!

A GIANT beetle with an inch-long horn is looking for love after sneaking into Britain - in a shipment of bananas.

The elephant beetle - more at home in the rainforests of Costa Rica - is now fully grown at nearly five inches long.

And time is ticking because elephant beetles - an endangered species - live for just four months.

Zoo staff cannot tell his precise age but believe him to be full grown because he has a 4cm-long horn and weighs 35g.

Linton Zoo director Kim Simmons said: "Billy needs to mate.

"He is showing all the signs and keeps displaying. He bobs up and down on his branch and taps on the ground.

"He has been making the most of his new home and emits tiny mating calls. It's like he's saying 'here I am, come get me'."

But the hunt for a female elephant beetle has so far drawn a blank.

The elephant beetle population has recently been depleted by the destruction of the rainforests, which has reduced their grounds for mating.


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

slutty fish!

Fish fossil is oldest to have 'fun sex'

A prehistoric fish which roamed the seas almost 400 million years ago has been unveiled by scientists as the “oldest mother ever discovered”.

The fossilised placoderm - a now extinct, armoured fish - was discovered in Western Australia complete with a perfectly preserved embryo and umbilical cord.

Dr John Long, Head of Sciences at Museum Victoria, points out the umbilical cord on the fossil

Scientists have hailed the discovery as not only the earliest example of an animal giving birth to live young, but also the oldest evidence of vetebrates having "sex that was fun".

The 10in fossil, dug up at the Gogo rock formation, east of the remote town of Fitzroy Crossing, has been named Materpiscis Attenboroughi - 'Attenborough's mother fish' - after the naturalist Sir David Attenborough.

Thought to be at least 380 million years old, the find pushes back the record for a live birth by 200 million years.

"It dawned on me after studying the specimen that this was the earliest evidence of vertebrates having sex by copulation - not just spawning in water, but sex that was fun."


morrissey impressed!

Heartbroken man climbs into morgue freezer.

A Taiwan man grieving over the death of his girlfriend climbed inside a morgue freezer to be with her and was only pulled out alive half an hour later, media and an official said on Tuesday.

The 41-year-old man was discovered on Monday when workers detected an unusually high temperature in the freezer and realized the hatch was not securely fastened.

"A morgue manager opened the hatch, saw two people lying inside, felt scared enough to yell out and then even cried," the Liberty Times reported. "She didn't stabilize for a long time."

The man took a drug before entering the freezer to speed what appeared to be suicide attempt, local papers said. They said his girlfriend died on Friday from an overdose of sleeping pills.

The morgue would step up security to ensure that family and others who come by to identify bodies do not stay too long, morgue administrator Chang Lung-ching said.


Friday, May 2, 2008

seal shags a penguin!

get it on!!

An Antarctic fur seal has been observed trying to have sex with a king penguin.

The South African-based scientists who witnessed the incident say it is the most unusual case of mammal mating behaviour yet known.

The incident, which lasted for 45 minutes and was caught on camera, is reported in the Journal of Ethology.

Why the seal attempted to have sex with the penguin is unclear. But the scientists who photographed the event speculate that it was the behaviour of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal.

The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape - but to no avail.

The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully.

After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report.

The penguin did not appear to have been injured by the seal, the scientists report.


Friday, April 25, 2008

attack of the killer beas

lemmy is god!

A thick swarm of thousands of bees suddenly showed up at a Mexican restaurant in Florida and inexplicably began spiraling in a "tornado pattern," according to Local 6 News.

Diners at Oxie's in DeLand at first thought the huge cloud in the sky had formed Thursday because a rainstorm was coming.

But they soon fled to their cars in fear when they realized the cloud was actually a mass of bees — and the insects seemed to be taunting customers.


Friday, April 18, 2008

butter head

kids these days...

Tyler Hemmert said he and a friend were sitting on a park bench when another boy became angry with them and threw a knife at them.

Tyler said he could still feel the knife. “I could see the handle of the butter knife, sticking out,” he said. “That’s when I freaked out.”

The ambulance took Tyler to the hospital with the knife still in his head.

“They took a CAT scan to make sure it wasn’t in my skull,” he said. “Then they numbed it, and cut it open and ripped the knife out.”


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

i steal your honda

baby russian mammoth found and unfrozen. requests track pants and a sweater.

Russian scientists say they have obtained the most detailed pictures so far of the insides of a prehistoric animal, with the help of a baby mammoth called Lyuba found immaculately preserved in the Russian Arctic.

"We could see for the first time how internal organs are located inside a mammoth. It is pretty important from a scientific point of view," said Alexei Tikhonov, deputy director of the Russian Academy of Science's Zoological Institute, who has been leading the project.

"Her internal organs were well preserved -- the heart was seen distinctly with all its ventricles and atria, as well as the liver and its veins," Tikhonov told Reuters.

The mammoth species has been extinct since the Ice Age. Tests on Lyuba showed she was fed on milk and was three to four months old when she died 37,000 years ago in what is now the Yamalo-Nenetsk region in Russia's Arctic.

Scientists were excited by the find because, although her shaggy coat was gone, her skin was intact, protecting her internal organs from contamination by modern-day microbes.


zombie daily

a new zombie picture everyday. plus, the artist will make personalized zombie portraits.

check it out here:

Friday, April 11, 2008

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

everybody loves hypnotoad

National University of Singapore biologist David Bickford, the lead researcher, said in a release that the frog, Barbourula kalimantanensis, has an "amazing ability to breathe entirely through its skin."

The frog receives all necessary oxygen through its skin, the researchers said. Among four-legged creatures, only amphibians are known to breathe without lungs — previously only in two families of salamanders and a species of caecillian, a limbless amphibian.

The researchers hypothesized that the frog may have evolved without lungs, or lost its lungs, in adaptation to the high-oxygen environment of its habitat and the species' preference to sink, rather than float, which would have been hindered by lungs full of oxygen.

Bickford explained that cold water can hold more dissolved oxygen than warm water, meaning that in a fast-flowing river, many molecules of oxygen come into contact with the frog's skin.


the international sign of the doughnut.

A Bosnian man whose home has been hit an incredible five times by meteorites believes he is being targeted by aliens.

He said: "I am obviously being targeted by extraterrestrials. I don't know what I have done to annoy them but there is no other explanation that makes sense. The chance of being hit by a meteorite is so small that getting hit five times has to be deliberate."
The first meteorite fell on his house in November last year and since then a further four have smashed into his home. The strikes always happen when it is raining heavily, never when there are clear skies.

He said: "I did not know what the strange-looking stones were at first but I have since had them all confirmed as meteorites by experts at Belgrade University.

"I am being targeted by aliens. They are playing games with me. I don't know why they are doing this. When it rains I can't sleep for worrying about another strike."


Monday, April 7, 2008

mongo like candy

Police arrested a Lakeland man early this morning on charges that he punched a police horse in the rear end.

It should be no surprise the incident occurred about 3:15 a.m. in Ybor City.

The Tampa Police Department report said the officer and horse were clearing the street and sidewalks in the 19th Street area of Seventh Avenue.

Carl Coward, 24, of 111 Hodges Road, Lakeland, balled his fist and punched the horse in the right rear hip area, the report states.

Coward was charged with battery of a law enforcement animal and is being held at the Orient Road Jail on $500 bond, jail records show.

The report does not indicate whether the horse suffered any serious injury.


Friday, April 4, 2008

holy cow!

wal-mart is stoked...

The first hybrid embryos in Europe - a blend of human and cow DNA - have been created by scientists in Newcastle.

The milestone, which is political rather than scientific, will trigger a furore, since the advance comes a month before MPs are to debate the future of such research, which has been condemned by the Catholic Church as "monstrous".

A British Council meeting in Israel was told by Dr Armstrong that the hybrids were created by injecting DNA derived from human embryo cells into eggs taken from cows ovaries which have had DNA responsible for their characteristics removed, so called nuclear DNA, and leaving only cow DNA used to power the cells.



evolving man pinches a gorilla finger in an oregon cave. modern man celebrates.

A trace of the oldest people to inhabit America has been discovered in a deposit of fossilised excrement.

The fossilised excrement has been dated at 14,300-years-old
An analysis of the dung, deposited more than 14,000 years ago, will change our picture of the first Americans and mean the history books will have to be rewritten.
Now the oldest evidence has come from DNA extracted from dried human excrement recovered from Oregon's Paisley Caves - dating to 14,300 years ago, some 1,200 years before Clovis culture - and the study provides apparent genetic ties to Siberia or Asia, according to an international team of 13 scientists.

According to the standard accepted theory, the Clovis people crossed a land bridge over the Bering Strait from Siberia to Alaska during the period of lowered sea levels during the ice age, then made their way southward through an ice-free corridor east of the Rocky Mountains in present-day western Canada as the glaciers retreated.

The Paisley Caves are located in the Summer Lake basin near Paisley, about 220 miles southeast of Eugene on the eastern side of the Cascade Range. The series of eight caves are westward-facing, on the highest shoreline of Lake Chewaucan, which have stable dry conditions that preserve their contents.

Working in four of the caves, the team retrieved manufactured threads of sinew and plant fibres, hide, basketry, cordage, rope, wooden pegs, animal bones, and two forms of projectile point fragments. They found 14 coprolites that yielded mitochondrial DNA - genetic material passed on maternally - the team reports



A newly discovered pink-and-tan psychedelically striped fish with a flat face, frowning mouth and arm-like fins could be part of a formerly unknown family of vertebrates.

The newly found 4-inch fish lives in Indonesian coral beds, crawling in and out of crevices on its bent pectoral fins.But the fish -- which Pietsch plans to name the Maluku frogfish -- is different from other anglers in remarkable ways. It lacks a lure, has tiny pelvic fins and -- most remarkably -- has a flat face with forward facing eyes. Most fish have eyes on the sides of their head and very few have them located close enough that their range of vision overlaps. These fish could have humanlike binocular vision giving them better depth perception.


Tuesday, March 18, 2008

grow something!

Genetic signals that block the regrowth of limbs and organs have been found.

With Dr Viravuth Yin and colleagues he studied a common aquarium pet, the zebrafish, which is capable of regenerating its spinal cord, retina, heart and fins in two weeks.

They report in the journal Genes & Development that a reduction in genetic signals based on small scraps of the material RNA - "microRNAs" - is a key step in tissue regeneration.

In humans, microRNAs play important roles in cell growth and death, among other things. There are hundreds of kinds of microRNAs, and scientists are constantly discovering new roles they play.

Dr Poss and many other cell biologists believe that people may have the same tissue regeneration capability as zebrafish, salamanders and newts, but that it is locked away somewhere in our genetic makeup, silenced in the course of evolution. "The key is finding a way to turn on this regenerative ability in humans," Dr Poss says.


Friday, March 14, 2008

happy pi day!

today is the day to celebrate the number that both pisses off high school students and laughs at the bible!

two faced baby

soul eating buffet champion.

The newborn is unlike any other child villagers have seen before — she has two faces.

Since then, people in her rural village have been singing and dancing — offering money and asking for her blessings, reported.

source (with dream ruining video):,2933,337492,00.html

Thursday, March 13, 2008

stabbed in the head

The 10-year-old was stabbed when he tried to protect his father during a row with a male customer in his shop in Kandahar. The boy's father took him to a military base in Kandahar and pleaded with doctors to save him.

Medics there used a portable digital x-ray machine, which produced an image in two minutes, before flying him to Camp Bastion for the operation.

The boy, who has not been named, amazed medics by walking into the field hospital with the knife embedded in his head on July 14 last year. Surgeons of 212 Field Hospital operated before handing over to 208 Field Hospital, who administered the after care.

Major Stephen Gallacher, 49, senior A&E nurse of 208 Field Hospital, said: "It was a horrendous sight. I just didn't think he would survive. But he was soon off the life-support machine and was up and about within days. It was just amazing."

advertisementMaj Gallacher, a father of four from Caernarfon, North Wales, added: "The knife had come in at an angle and gone down behind his eye and had penetrated the front of his brain. To have simply pulled the knife out would have been a disaster."

european (american) alligator

albino alligator digs thai food, recycling, and mutual funds.


dont cross the streams!

Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

A team from University College London finds that when we gaze around in a poorly-lit context, it can fool our brains into seeing things that are not really there.

In the journal PLoS Computational Biology, Prof Li Zhaoping and her colleagues say that the context surrounding what we see is all important - sometimes overriding the evidence gathered by our eyes and even causing us to imagine things.

They were surprised to find that a vague background context has more influence on what we see than one that is bright and well defined, and speculate that this might explain the power of some abstract art and why we can see vivid details in the vague brush strokes of impressionist paintings.

"Everything we see is an hallucination generated by the virtual reality machine inside our head," comments Prof Mike Morgan of The City University, London.

"Normally these hallucinations are vetoed by the information coming through our senses, so we can call perception 'controlled hallucination.'

"But when the input is ambiguous we can see all sorts of things, like the faces de Quincy saw in clouds and carpets. There are hundreds of faces hidden in the textured floors of the platforms at Euston Underground Station, if you look for them."

To reveal the haunting power of context, 18 observers were asked by the UCL team to concentrate on the centre of a black computer screen. Every time a buzzer sounded they pressed one of two buttons to record whether or not they had just seen a small, dim, grey 'target' rectangle in the middle of the screen. It did not appear every time, but when it did appear it was displayed for just 80 milliseconds (80 one thousandths of a second).

"People saw the target much more often if it appeared in the middle of a vertical line of similar looking, grey rectangles, compared to when it appeared in the middle of a pattern of bright, white rectangles. They even registered 'seeing' the target when it wasn't actually there," says Prof Zhaoping.


Saturday, February 23, 2008

hey fattie...

it's not glandular, it's the government!

We’ve all heard the figures. We know that meat production uses significantly more land and fossil fuel resources than a vegetarian diet. But, then, why on earth is it cheaper to eat meat than fresh fruit and vegetables?

Almost 75% of U.S. government subsidies go into meat and dairy production, but less than half a per cent goes into fruit and vegetable production.


Friday, February 22, 2008

are you having a laugh?

a short essay by ricky gervais about the day he became an atheist.

fish walks on land, then eats a human!

A SAVAGE fish that eats everything it comes across, including people, has been hooked by a British fisherman — sparking fears of a deadly invasion.

The giant snakehead, originating from South-East Asia, has a mouth crammed with teeth.

It’s deadly in the water, but it can also “crawl” on land and survive out of water for up to four days.

The discovery of the fish in Linconshire, northern England, has caused widespread panic amongst conservationists and anglers.


Thursday, February 21, 2008

"you're all a bunch of fukin idiots" - c. darwin 1850

florida aint so dumb no more.

The word "evolution" is to be used in Florida's science classes for the first time.

Many people in the state oppose the teaching of evolution as scientific fact, proposing instead that teachers offer "alternatives" such as creationism or "intelligent design", which claims to be a rival theory purporting that life on Earth is so irreducibly complex that the random processes of evolution could not explain it.

Despite Darwin's ideas being overwhelmingly accepted in the scientific community and backed by a century's worth of compelling evidence, a recent Gallup poll showed that roughly half of all Americans do not believe that evolution is a fact.


for an ass-handingly good argument against intelligent design, creationism, or any other fairy tales read the blind watch maker by richard dawkins.
link to amazon:

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


The Reanimation Library is a small, independent library based in Brooklyn. It is a collection of books that have fallen out of mainstream circulation. Outdated and discarded, they have been culled from thrift stores, stoop sales, and throw-away piles across the country and given new life as resource material for artists, writers, and other cultural archeologists.

tons of great photos at source.