Hey Whitey, where's your hat?

A golf club's fairways were turned brown after the groundsman accidentally watered the course with industrial strength weedkiller.



The normally lush fairways have been scorched away after the groundsman sprayed them with a chemical usually used to destroy grass growing through pavements and roads.

A total of 11 holes have been ruined at Haywards Heath Golf Club in West Sussex, and will remain rusty brown for months to come.

Many members, who pay £1,100 a year, fear that prolonged rain could turn them to mud.

source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/2285867/Groundsman-destroys-golf-greens-with-weedkiller.html

greatest sport ever!

Appliance Golf. You know, it’s a lot like regular golf, but players use sledgehammers instead of golf clubs, and they use washers, refrigerators and televisions instead of balls.

The game takes up much less space than normal golf, because of course you’re not going to move an 800-pound refrigerator very far, even with the biggest sledgehammer you can lift.

source: http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/

science with electrolytes!

making difficult concepts easier to comprehend by making stuff up.



Evolutionists hold that man arose by the same gradual process as other creatures. This belief follows from the principle that the same laws of nature apply to man as to the rest of the physical world.
The Evolutionist Model demonstrates how an ancestral "ape-man" could have evolved an upright stance and humanlike physiology



Creationists, on the other hand, believe that man was created instantaneously by a cosmic powered super-being from another dimension. This belief is based on ancient, heavily retranslated writings taken from badly decomposed fragments of scroll found in a series of caves in the middle-east. The Creationist Model explains the advent of human intelligence by ascribing it to divine fiat in the creation of the first humans, Adam and Eve. A major weakness is that it fails to account for the origin of Adam and Eve's daughters-in-law.



Pictured, we see how an open-minded approach to these conflicting theories can lead to the resolution of a major problem in each.

find more examples of science made easy here: http://www.besse.at/sms/smsintro.html

big ass beetle wants to get it on!

A GIANT beetle with an inch-long horn is looking for love after sneaking into Britain - in a shipment of bananas.

The elephant beetle - more at home in the rainforests of Costa Rica - is now fully grown at nearly five inches long.

And time is ticking because elephant beetles - an endangered species - live for just four months.

Zoo staff cannot tell his precise age but believe him to be full grown because he has a 4cm-long horn and weighs 35g.

Linton Zoo director Kim Simmons said: "Billy needs to mate.

"He is showing all the signs and keeps displaying. He bobs up and down on his branch and taps on the ground.

"He has been making the most of his new home and emits tiny mating calls. It's like he's saying 'here I am, come get me'."

But the hunt for a female elephant beetle has so far drawn a blank.

The elephant beetle population has recently been depleted by the destruction of the rainforests, which has reduced their grounds for mating.

source: http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/cn_news_home/DisplayArticle.asp?id=319776

slutty fish!

Fish fossil is oldest to have 'fun sex'

A prehistoric fish which roamed the seas almost 400 million years ago has been unveiled by scientists as the “oldest mother ever discovered”.

The fossilised placoderm - a now extinct, armoured fish - was discovered in Western Australia complete with a perfectly preserved embryo and umbilical cord.

Dr John Long, Head of Sciences at Museum Victoria, points out the umbilical cord on the fossil

Scientists have hailed the discovery as not only the earliest example of an animal giving birth to live young, but also the oldest evidence of vetebrates having "sex that was fun".




The 10in fossil, dug up at the Gogo rock formation, east of the remote town of Fitzroy Crossing, has been named Materpiscis Attenboroughi - 'Attenborough's mother fish' - after the naturalist Sir David Attenborough.

Thought to be at least 380 million years old, the find pushes back the record for a live birth by 200 million years.

"It dawned on me after studying the specimen that this was the earliest evidence of vertebrates having sex by copulation - not just spawning in water, but sex that was fun."

source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?view=DETAILS&grid=&xml=/earth/2008/05/29/eafish129.xml

morrissey impressed!

Heartbroken man climbs into morgue freezer.

A Taiwan man grieving over the death of his girlfriend climbed inside a morgue freezer to be with her and was only pulled out alive half an hour later, media and an official said on Tuesday.

The 41-year-old man was discovered on Monday when workers detected an unusually high temperature in the freezer and realized the hatch was not securely fastened.

"A morgue manager opened the hatch, saw two people lying inside, felt scared enough to yell out and then even cried," the Liberty Times reported. "She didn't stabilize for a long time."

The man took a drug before entering the freezer to speed what appeared to be suicide attempt, local papers said. They said his girlfriend died on Friday from an overdose of sleeping pills.

The morgue would step up security to ensure that family and others who come by to identify bodies do not stay too long, morgue administrator Chang Lung-ching said.

source: http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTP34671220080527

seal shags a penguin!

get it on!!



An Antarctic fur seal has been observed trying to have sex with a king penguin.

The South African-based scientists who witnessed the incident say it is the most unusual case of mammal mating behaviour yet known.

The incident, which lasted for 45 minutes and was caught on camera, is reported in the Journal of Ethology.

Why the seal attempted to have sex with the penguin is unclear. But the scientists who photographed the event speculate that it was the behaviour of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal.

The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape - but to no avail.

The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully.

After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report.

The penguin did not appear to have been injured by the seal, the scientists report.

source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7379554.stm